There are some things in life you know you may have to face one day, but knowing that and being prepared for the reality are two very different things.
For my sister and me, one of those moments came when we knew Mum could no longer safely stay at home.
Suddenly, we were navigating the aged care system and trying to make sense of something that felt incredibly complicated, while at the same time making some very big decisions for someone we love.
Where should Mum live? What should we be looking for in an aged care facility? How does the financial side work? What do we need to do with the family home? And how do we know we’re making the right decisions?
What I hadn’t appreciated before going through it was just how much space the whole process takes up.
There is the time involved in researching, visiting facilities, having conversations, completing paperwork and sorting through finances.
Then there is the emotional side.
Selling Mum and Dad’s home was particularly difficult. Packing up someone else’s life, going through belongings filled with memories and deciding what stays, what goes and what happens next brings with it a whole other layer of emotion.
And you’re doing all of this while trying to stay focused on the most important thing: making the best possible decisions for your parent.
We weren’t prepared for just how much the process would demand of us, mentally, physically and emotionally.
That’s also why having the right people around us mattered so much.
Jenny Brown and the team at JBS helped us understand the financial implications and make informed decisions, but their support went beyond the numbers. Jen helped us understand what to look for, what to consider and what questions to ask when choosing an aged care facility.
Having someone in your corner who understands the system when you’re trying to navigate it for the first time is incredibly comforting.
I recently joined Jenny and Kaitlin Mifsud on the JBS podcast to share our experience of navigating aged care for Mum, including some of the things we learned along the way and what we wish we’d known before we started.
If you have ageing parents, even if aged care isn’t an immediate consideration, I hope our conversation encourages you to start talking about it.
Because one of the biggest lessons for me was this:
The best time to start these conversations is before you need to make the decisions.