I’d been scrolling through post after post from smart, experienced women. Talking about being filtered out at 50. Overlooked despite decades of capability. Written off before they’d even been considered.
Grey hair. Age. The system. So many women nodding along, sharing their own versions of the same story.
Ageism is real. Sexism is real. I’ve experienced both.
But it sat uncomfortably with me all night.
The next day, someone commented on my post about relevance. His name is Scott.
“We have a choice — to believe that we are owed relevance or accept that no one is coming to save us and it is on us to be constantly refining the best, most unique and relevant version of ourselves. It is beholden upon us to consciously curate and bring to life our most unique and authentic human identity, so we can be still tuning up and selling out venues in our own way for as long as we choose.”
And that’s the question worth sitting with.
The story we tell ourselves
The world can be a dangerous, dark place. And it can be full of opportunity and kind people. Both exist. Always. At the same time.
Ageism and sexism are real. I’m not immune. But when we buy into that as our whole story, we hand our power away. We stay anchored to something we cannot change and lose sight of what we actually can.
I spent years in corporate. Men got roles over me. More than once. Whatever I thought about it wasn’t going to change decisions already made. So I made a choice. Stay hungry. Focus forward. Because you can’t control other people’s decisions. You can only influence what’s next.
That became how I operated. And it still does.
Relevance isn’t given. It’s built.
Ita Buttrose. Margaret Jackson. Two women who didn’t wait for the environment to catch up.
Margaret wrote her job applications as M.A. Jackson because firms wouldn’t hire women. She turned up to interviews anyway. Got told to go home and change out of her pantsuit. Refused. Kept showing up. Eventually became the first woman to chair a top-50 publicly listed company in Australia.
Ita just kept moving until she was impossible to ignore. First woman to edit a major Australian metropolitan newspaper. Not because the industry was ready for her. Because she decided who she was and held that position.
Neither of them organised themselves around what was expected. They claimed authority and made it visible.
That’s the standard. And it’s available to all of us — regardless of gender, age, or whether we’re employed or running our own business.
The ones who stay relevant aren’t the ones with the longest CV or the deepest experience. They’re the ones who are clearest about their value right now. Today. In this market.
This market has shifted. It’s disrupted, AI-driven, and moving fast. Staying relevant isn’t something you achieve once. Scott nailed it — it’s about constantly refining the best, most unique and relevant version of yourself.
Most people aren’t doing that. They’re relying on what got them here. And that’s where the gap opens up.
Skills aren’t the differentiator anymore
Everyone at senior level has skills. Deep ones. Years of them.
That’s not what gets you chosen.
Whether you’re going for a board role, a senior leadership position, or your next client — the market is crowded with capable people. The differentiator is how clearly you can articulate your value. Not your track record. What you make possible right now, and the impact you create.
Most people are still leading with skills. Still waiting for someone to connect the dots for them.
Nobody is coming to do that.
The rejection will come anyway
Even when you do the work, you will still get the no.
Fair ones. Unfair ones. Ones that make no sense. There are fewer seats at senior levels, more competition, and not every decision will go your way.
But here’s what I know. Every minute you spend in the story of what wasn’t fair is a minute you’re not spending on what’s next. And what’s next is the only thing you can actually do anything about.
The women in those posts aren’t wrong about what happened to them. But if that story becomes the whole story, you hand your power to the very thing that already cost you.
You have more agency than that. You always have.
Decide who you are now. Get clear on the value you bring today. Own what makes you relevant next.
Nobody is coming to do that for you. And honestly, you wouldn’t want them to.
That’s your game. Play it.
Julie Hyde works with senior leaders on self-leadership, identity, and positioning. Her focus is simple — helping people stop waiting to be chosen and start owning what makes them relevant next.