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Why Do We Take on Too Much and Cause Our Own Overwhelm?

By October 31, 2024Articles, Leadership

We live in a world where busyness is worn like a badge of honour. Many of us are juggling countless responsibilities—work, family, personal growth, and expectations from others. But have you ever asked yourself, why do I take on so much?

One of my clients found herself completely overwhelmed because she was trying to meet everyone’s expectations—her own, her boss’s, her family’s—all at once. It wasn’t just that she had too much on her plate; it was that she didn’t feel she had a choice.

She was reacting to external pressures, not making empowered decisions. And because of that, she felt out of control and on the brink of burnout.

Why do we do this?

  1. The Pressure to Please: So often, we’re driven by a need to make others happy, to meet their expectations—even when it’s at the expense of our own well-being. Whether it’s wanting to impress at work, maintain friendships, or meet family obligations, we stretch ourselves too thin in an effort to avoid disappointing others.
  2. Fear of Saying No: Saying no is hard. It can feel like we’re letting someone down or missing out on opportunities. But without boundaries, we end up taking on more than we can handle, leading to a cycle of exhaustion and frustration. The truth is, saying no is one of the most empowering choices we can make.
  3. The Myth of Control: We often believe that by taking on more, we can control the outcome of every situation. But instead, we end up spreading ourselves too thin and losing control over the things that matter most. In You Always Have a Choice, we talk about the importance of recognizing what we can and cannot control—and the empowerment that comes from letting go of what we can’t.
  4. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): We take on more because we don’t want to miss opportunities—whether it’s a promotion, a new project, or social commitments. But in trying to do it all, we end up missing out on the most important opportunity: living with intention and purpose.

What’s the Solution?

We need to shift from reacting to life’s demands to making intentional, empowered choices.

In You Always Have a Choice, the idea is simple: you can’t control everything, but you can always control how you respond.

Here are a few steps to start managing the juggle:

  • Reframe Your Priorities: Ask yourself, What truly matters? What are the “crystal balls” you can’t afford to drop, and what are the “rubber balls” that will bounce back if you let them go?
  • Set Boundaries and Say No: Saying no isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for your well-being. When you set boundaries, you give yourself the space to focus on what aligns with your values.
  • Take Ownership of Your Choices: Recognise that you always have a choice in how you respond to external pressures. When you stop trying to juggle everything and focus on what matters, you regain control over your life.

At the end of the day, leading a life you love is about making empowered choices that prioritise your well-being over the expectations of others. It’s about dropping the myth of control, releasing the pressure to please everyone, and embracing the freedom that comes with saying no.