Are you the kind of person who says “yes” to everything? When someone asks for a favour or invites you to a meeting, do you immediately agree without thinking?
Many of us have that instinct—to say yes, to please, to contribute, or simply to avoid upsetting others.
But have you ever paused to ask yourself: Is that yes really serving me?
There was a time in my life when I found myself nodding in agreement when all I wanted to say was ‘no’. I was juggling too many balls, with the majority being concrete. I already felt overwhelmed, but if someone asked me to help, whether personally or professionally, I felt the need to please and respond with an immediate yes.
This frustrated me, and I constantly felt disappointed in myself because I knew I was completely out of alignment with my priorities, yet I still said yes. Something had to change.
Saying yes can feel like the right thing to do in the moment. But far too often, those automatic yeses come at a cost. They can chip away at your confidence, scatter your focus, and prevent you from building the life, career, and business you’re truly capable of achieving.
A recent survey revealed that 61% of people admit to saying yes when they want to say no, with women reporting higher rates than men. Additionally, 50% of women said they often feel overwhelmed by their commitments because they agree to things they don’t truly want to do. This constant overcommitting doesn’t just exhaust your time and energy—it erodes your ability to make empowered choices that serve your goals and well-being.
As Dr. Brené Brown, an expert on vulnerability and leadership, said: “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
This powerful reminder underscores the importance of setting boundaries, which often starts with making the empowered choice to say no.
- Saying Yes Comes at a Price
It can hinder your ability to create a life you love, filled with intention and purpose. It can also diminish your value at work, where you may be seen as the ‘yes person’ who helps, rather than someone recognised for your unique strengths. - For entrepreneurs and leaders, overcommitting to projects or collaborations can dilute your focus and energy. Successful business results come from clarity, focus, and prioritisation. Spreading yourself too thin weakens your ability to drive the results you’re aiming for.
Why We Say Yes Too Often
Far too many times, the instinct to say yes comes from a desire to:
- Please others – We don’t want to upset or disappoint anyone, especially in professional settings where relationships are key.
- Feel valued – Saying yes often gives us an immediate sense of importance, as though we’re contributing to something larger than ourselves.
- Avoid conflict – Turning someone down can feel uncomfortable, so we avoid it, opting for the smoother path of agreement.
But the reality is, by saying yes too often, we end up juggling far too many balls—some are crystal, but some are rubber or concrete. When we drop those crystal balls, the damage can be significant. Whether it’s your health, your relationships, or your work, dropping a crystal ball can have lasting consequences.
Making an Empowered Choice to Say No
It’s not just about learning to say no. It’s about making an empowered choice to say no when that yes doesn’t serve you. This choice allows you to protect your time, energy, and well-being. Each time you say yes to something that doesn’t align with your goals, values, or leadership vision, you are essentially saying no to yourself—and that’s where the real harm lies.
The next time you’re faced with a decision, pause and ask yourself:
- Does saying yes align with your values and priorities?
- Will it serve your leadership and long-term goals?
- Does this yes support your overall well-being and happiness?
When your answer is yes to all these questions, then your decision will likely serve you. But when it’s a reluctant yes, motivated by fear, guilt, or obligation, it’s time to reevaluate.
It’s time to break the cycle of over-committing. Women, in particular, need to reframe the idea that saying no is selfish or unkind. In fact, it’s the opposite—it’s essential for growth, confidence, and success.
As Oprah Winfrey once said: “You can have it all. Just not all at once.”
The key to achieving your dreams—whether in life, career, or business—is to prioritise wisely. Say yes to the things that align with your goals, values, and your true self. Everything else is just noise.